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Book: Win-Win Influence - How to Enhance Your Personal and Business Relationships (with NLP) by Roger Ellerton

categories: Book, Neuro-linguistic Programming, Sales, Marketing, Persuasion, Negotiation, Relationships, Influence, Leadership, Coaching, Goal Setting, Mediation, Family, NLP

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Roger Ellerton, PhD, CMC

about this book: Developing and perfecting influence skills is a continuous work in progress. If followed and practiced, the ideas, tips and processes described in this book will assist you in improving your influence results with anyone you come in contact with in a manner that achieves a win-win, mutually acceptable result. The emphasis is on expanding your influence skills and results in everyday situations - family discussions, boss-employee interactions and informal conversations. If you are directly or indirectly involved in sales, marketing or negotiation, you will find that the concepts described in this book will enhance your results in these areas, as well. While I often discuss only one of these situations (business or personal relationships, for example), related to a particular topic, be aware that the material is applicable in virtually all influence situations, including your own.

Are you as successful in influencing others as you could be? If asked to sell something - especially your own skills and abilities - do you freeze in your tracks or figuratively run screaming from the room? Or when negotiating a purchase or course of action, do you cave in at the first opportunity and, once again, sacrifice your needs for someone else's? Maybe you hold back from influencing family members, friends or coworkers, simply because you want to avoid a potential confrontation or because you do not know how to connect with the other person.

Whether you realize it or not, you are constantly influencing other people's thoughts about you and your ideas and about themselves and the actions they can take. You do this through your actions as well as your inactions.

This book is based on the concept of influencing others to achieve what you desire, while helping them achieve their needs as well - a win-win approach. Whenever you engage another person - through email or a telephone call, by sending flowers, in person, during a public presentation or in an internet blog - it is an influence opportunity gained or lost depending on what you do and say.

Win-win influence is about respectful communication where both parties feel valued, safe and willing to enter into a mutually beneficial agreement. One of the best, if not the best, communication models is neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), which forms a fundamental part of this book. As with any powerful tool, it can be misused. Indeed, it is possible to find NLP/hypnosis books that emphasize hypnotic and slick language patterns to take advantage of others. For me, this is not win-win, although some of those authors will attempt to convince you that the end justifies the means.

If you are looking for tips and techniques to persuade others to your way of thinking or to buy your idea, product or service without regard for their needs or aspirations, then please look elsewhere. This is not about trying to make someone feel good about buying your offering when it does not suit their needs. On the other hand, if you want ideas, tips and an effective process to engage family, friends, coworkers, business associates or customers in a conversation that has the potential for both of you to achieve your goals and open doors to future interactions, then this book is for you.

My intention in writing this book is to provide you with a usable process for improving your influence abilities, your results and your enjoyment in participating in influence situations, including sales and negotiations. Join me in an exploration designed to put into practice useful and effective ideas for improving your influence abilities.

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Video 1: Win-Win Influence (with NLP): How to Enhance Your Personal and Business Relationships Part 1: Intro
Video 2: Win-Win Influence (with NLP) Part 6: Bridge the Gap