Book: Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things - Learning to Love as a Bipolar Aspie by Ellen Stockdale Wolfecategories: Book, Recovery, Bipolar Disorder, Asperger's and Love, Psychiatry, Psychology, Manic Depression, Psychological Mystery, Psychological Memoir, Psychosis, Therapy, Love, Memoir
Ellen Stockdale Wolfeabout this book: "Eye-locks and Other Fearsome Things" is an unusual memoir in that it is a memoir of both Bipolar Disorder and Asperger's Syndrome. It is written in narrative form, replete with dialogue and fully drawn characters and shows how love can destroy and how love can rebuild.
"Eye-locks" opens within the eye of the hurricane of my first full-blown manic episode, raining psychosis and all. It takes you by the hand as I show how I start to rebuild my life from scratch— this time on the sane side of madness.
The book is a testament to the healing power of love. The reader is with me as I learn to tolerate closeness and feel love. I show how I get hooked up to my feelings for the first time and end up meeting a man more clueless and afraid than I am.
The title refers to my problems with eye-contact as an undiagnosed, psychotic, "Aspie." At one point I felt eye contact would destroy the part of me that could feel emotions and that part would die. I have made lots of progress since that time so long ago but I still often struggle with eye contact in social situations, and even with my husband, and he, with me.
I wrote this book to send a message of hope to other Bipolars and "Aspies" as lost as I was and as despairing of ever finding love. My memoir shows that it IS possible! The book is also a valuable resource for family, friends and therapists. There was no such book to guide me through my trials. I have written a road map for others like me. It is a book that may also interest the general public— showing an up-close and personal view of madness and the world of psychosis.
Although the book opens with a dashed engagement and a disastrous relationship to a woman at work, the work is a homage to love. For it was the promise of the love of this woman that propelled me to seek sanity, and that resulted in me falling in love with a man also on the spectrum to whom I have been married for 23 years.
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