Book: A Pig With Three legs by David Turricategories: Book, British Humor, Pub Humor, Farce, Dead Bodies, Benidorm, Garden Gnomes, Black Humor
David Turriabout this book: This is a story full of bad jokes because those are the only ones Tommy Dugdale, a failed stand-up comic, knows. Alec Swipple is his long-suffering best mate. The third player in this farce is tough-as-nails Gillian, Tommy's girlfriend. There is a fourth player, but Martin Bullock plays a passive role in the story because he's dead.
Gillian killed him after he tried to rape her. Tommy and Alec are trying to get rid of the body. No easy task. Tommy mutters, "I hope Martin's soul is in heaven, because we haven't given his body any peace the whole weekend." After finally burying him, they find out from the tabloids that he is the right-hand man of Alf "Maggots" Maggs, a London gang boss. He was in the East End (before his fateful encounter with Gillian) to pay for a crack cocaine buy. The money was in his briefcase, which is buried with his body, which has been dead for more than five days.
They dig it up, get the cash and escape England. The police are soon on their trail. "You made one fatal mistake," observes Inspector Gwynne. "And that was being born." In the farcical climax, Gwynne uses them as bait to flush out Maggs, who has gone to ground in Spain.
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